So, my roommate Kay and I are really close friends, I am/was going to be her Maid of Honor in her wedding to our other roommate, Vince. She’s going through such a hard time with him right now, he’s considering leaving her and she is considering the same. But it is so hard for her to stand up on her feet. I watched her for about two hours, maybe less, just deterioate in front of me on the couch. No tears, just crazy little mannerisms- mannerisms that I know all to well. I felt the same way, deliriously maniacal, gleefully hateful, when I wrote that blog about my ex boyfriend.
So I went back and read it, half afraid of the feelings that it would stir up. It was great to be able to read it and see how far I’ve come. I’m so much happier now. That blog post was my breaking point- he was the reason that I started seeing Angela. Then they post-poned my appointment, and I read her journal, and I broke.
All I could do after reading that and having all the little things fall into place as the key that would open my mind’s Pandora’s box was lay in bed and cry. I cried for hours, screaming into my pillow, scratching at my skin, reading the words over and over again. It got to the point where all I could do was lay and shake and cry. Almost like a seizure.
I feel like I am a lot healthier than I was then. I know I am happier. My life doesn’t revolve around any one person, and I’m not sure that anyone my age is mature enough to go into a relationship like the one we shared. Heck, maybe I’m not mature enough either. All I know is that I am proud of myself for seeing as far as I have come, and I hope that Kay will eventually feel the pride and comfort that I feel now. You never know what you are capable of until you have absolutely nothing to work from.
Obsessive Ramblings of an Over-Active Mind 
Wow, that was intense.
I love the way you write